My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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