ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
