let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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