I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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