Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
