how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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