I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
