you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
