what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
