How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I could make wine with my vomit
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
