i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
