marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
