So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
