do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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