hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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