i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
