You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
