I'd wear matching sweaters with you
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
