Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
