he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
