going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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