i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
