I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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