someone get that fucking seahorse.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
