I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Is Oprah even human
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
