and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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