i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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