Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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