Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
