they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
