so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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