Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
