she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
