Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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