i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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