Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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