i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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