My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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