I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
