i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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