Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
