Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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