Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
