i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
