Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
