Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
