so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
