mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
