Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
