Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
